It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
