My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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