if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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