girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
