it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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