that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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