ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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