Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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