He is such a slut. More and more my type.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
