we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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