that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
