I am puke
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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