I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
