Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she smelled like a LAN party
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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