Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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