Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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