I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Farmville is her only friend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
