I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
