i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
