From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
