you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize