Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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