he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
