I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
