On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
