do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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