My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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