the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The uberlube is also flammable
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
