You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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