Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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