1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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