Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
