she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
