Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
