i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize