So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
as a side note pls kill me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
