I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
