my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
