Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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