Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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