i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
