so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
