Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Two words: nipple clamps
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