yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
