Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
