What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
