Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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