Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
