Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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