bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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