i just google imaged poop.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
