i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
