so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
