I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
