and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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