I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
