Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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