Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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