if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
even my farts smell like vagina
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
