The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
