so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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